New Mamas

“Sarah Jessica Parker looked fantastic 2 weeks post partum and I look like a blob!”

April 20th, 2017

About a week ago I (re) posted an article on the Facebook Page about a study out of England which states that ‘women need a full year to recover from pregnancy and childbirth’. There was also a response by a reader,

“That’s literally impossible for most moms in the U.S.”

Sadly, she’s right. America is probably the worst industrialized nation for new mamas, not providing any sort of paid maternity leave, routine in home support for new moms or adequate resources for self care. While I have always been a fierce proponent of the “Year to grow ’em, a year to recover” philosophy, I completely understand that in America, many women MUST get back to work as soon as possible to help support their families.

Unfortunately, Far too many times I’ve had mamas “up and at ’em” just days after giving birth, trying to tackle the responsibilities of running their homes, caring for their older children, back to work full time and starting right in on an exercise regimen in order to “get back to their pre-pregnancy” physique as soon as possible. Not long after, they call me; exhausted, achey, homes and families in chaos, they’re crying at work and with faltering milk supplies. They can’t understand what’s wrong? Some women have actually sustained injuries from trying to do exercise programs that are just too rigorous for the early post partum, and I can think of two clients that actually developed organ prolapses (internal organs coming out of bodily openings) from putting too much stress on their already weakened pelvic floors.

“But Sarah Jessica Parker looked fantastic 2 weeks post partum and I look like a blob!”

What mamas fail to realize is that Sarah Jessica Parker-and other celebrity moms-usually have nannies, housekeepers, personal trainers, chefs and a hoard of other helpers that help them not only manage their homes and their babies, but also are instrumental in helping them regain that “Hollywood glow”. Most of us are lucky if our mothers can come for even a week after we deliver! Sarah Jessica Parker said as much on “The View” after the birth of her son. She shared that she was required to be back on set and able to fit into her wardrobe, so she had private pilates sessions daily, a personal chef preparing special meals and a personal assistant just to handle her affairs! She had a nanny to care for the baby which allowed her to sleep, a housekeeper and a whole host of other staff at her disposal to handle everything else. So yes, she looked fabulous just weeks post partum.

But that isn’t reality.

Mamas, pregnancy and childbirth fundamentally change a woman’s body. Even women who look utterly fabulous after their childbearing years will still have “badges of honor” indicating that they have successfully been pregnant, labored and delivered children. For some women, there will be the very slightest of slack to her abdominal muscles (until she has a tummy tuck!). Others will have faint-or not so faint-stretch marks on the belly, breasts, hips and thighs. Some women will have c-section incision scars. And still others will have invisible badges; that little trickle of urine that escapes when she laughs, coughs or sneezes, hemorrhoids, and other “inconveniences.”But all of them had to allow their bodies to recover. I can’t think of one woman who has given birth of any sort and not said,

“I never had ______ until after I was pregnant and gave birth.”

It just goes with the territory. Most of the so called “badges” are minor, simply little reminders of our journey. However, if women engage in activity that is too vigorous too soon after delivery, even returning to work before their bodies have had a chance to recuperate from the marathon that was pregnancy, labor and delivery, what may have started out as a minor inconvenience can develop into a major problem requiring more time, therapy and sometimes surgical intervention to resolve. Truly it would have been far less traumatic to simply ease back into daily routines.

American culture does not make it easy for women to recuperate from childbearing. However, women themselves can take these 7 steps to ease back into their pre-pregnancy routines.

  1. No vigorous activity until at least 8 weeks post partum, but if post c-section, consider waiting until 12 weeks post partum to fully heal.
  2. Learn and do pelvic floor strengthening exercises.
  3. Rest as much as possible, and whenever you can, take a nap.
  4. Let major housekeeping go and even get help with the small stuff if possible.
  5. Say no to outside activities. You don’t need to chaperone, bake cookies or make calls for any event. Focus on you!
  6. Spend time at home with family. This is precious bonding time for you all.
  7. Reduce work hours as much as possible.

I realize that some of these suggestions will be easier to implement than others. This list is also not exhaustive, but just a starting point. It’s just imperative mamas that you take care of yourselves so that you can get back to your daily routines with full strength and joy. It’s also important to fully heal from this pregnancy, especially if are planning to have other pregnancies in the future. If you start back too soon, you may set yourself back several weeks or injure yourself making subsequent pregnancies more difficult.

I know that it’s been a long haul, especially if you’ve spent weeks to months on bed rest. But please, please, please take a little more time to heal. Don’t compare yourselves to other women, especially not celebrities. Your journey is your journey and its best to honor your inner time table as much as possible, allowing your body to heal and prepare for subsequent pregnancies or to simply chart new territory as a mom! Whatever you decide to do, do it with a healthy, strong body!

Do you have a tip for recovering after pregnancy you’d like to share? Do you have a question? Share your thoughts in the comments section below. Your words could be just the thing a mama needs to read today!

Mamas on Bedrest: Vote!

October 11th, 2016
image by coward_lion, courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

image by coward_lion, courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hello Mamas,

It’s not lost on any of us that this election season is one of the hottest messes in US election history! I’m not going to tell you who to vote for, or argue the virtues of either candidate. Who you decide to vote for is your personal business and let’s keep it that way. However, I am going to encourage you to vote. As an African American woman, I recognize the sacrifices-to the death for some-made so that I may “use my voice to make a choice!” The women who marched and protested in the 1920’s made it possible for women to vote. But for me and mine, this right was finally granted after many hotly contested, and a few bloody battles waged during the 1960’s. Knowing this history, knowing how many struggled and sacrificed, I can’t not vote! I know that many of you may be frustrated and disgusted. I know that much of what is going on is discouraging to say the least. But if we don’t vote, I fear dire consequences for our country. So please exercise your constitutional right and cast your opinions as to who and how this country should be governed.

Now I’m sure a lot of you will look at this post and think, “Now what in the h–l has voting got to do with being on bedrest?” While the presidential election has most certainly taken up much of the country’s attention, and who is elected president is surely of high importance, it most certainly isn’t the only election that matters to “We the People” and in many instances it isn’t the most important election for we Mamas on Bedrest. There is a lot of legislation pending in many states and local governments that will be approved/disapproved depending on who is elected in November-from the president on down. Very crucial legislation on paid family leave, employer sponsored benefits, health care, wage equality, childcare and other issues all crucial to us as mamas are all being considered by legislators in all 50 states and US protectorates. Implementation of these pending legislations will vary depending on the state, so if you don’t vote, if you don’t participate in this process, there is a strong likelihood that what you want to happen won’t. Perhaps you feel that your vote won’t matter. I get that. I live in Texas a very red state with conservative legislators diametrically opposed to what I believe. Yet, I will still be voting-even if it seems a useless proposition in some cases-because there are some instances in which legislation will narrowly be approved or rejected based on just a few votes. We can be deciding votes.

Many of you may be thinking, “I can’t vote, I’m on bedrest.” This is not true. You can vote by absentee ballot in all states, you simply have to request a mail-in ballot and return it by the date your state’s election board indicates.

I googled “absentee voting” and this link popped up with step by step information on how to obtain a ballot and submit it to your state’s elections office. If you don’t feel comfortable with this link, check out the Federal Voting Assistance Program’s absentee voting page. It too has very useful information about how one can vote if one is unable to physically get to the polls. Today, October 11th, is the last day to register to vote. Not sure if you are registered? Click here to find out.

As each of you is on bedrest growing your little one, give some thought to what type of world you want your little one to grow up in. Is what you are seeing on TV, on the internet, in the newspapers and magazines or what you are hearing around you what you want for your child? Is it what you want for yourself? The choices may not be as enticing as you may like, but you do still have a choice. The next chapter in our country’s history is about to be written. Make sure that you have your say in its content!

 

Mamas on Bedrest: Black Breastfeeding Infographic

August 31st, 2016

Hello Mamas,

As Black Breastfeeding Week wraps up, I am pleased to share with you an infographic that I helped to develop. Hope it helps you have get the vital information you may need to breastfeed!!!Black Breastfeeding Week_Aug 25-31_final