Mamas on Bedrest: If one more person tells me it’s going to be okay……

July 29th, 2013

It’s another magic Monday, Mamas!!

I am wondering if Mama on Bedrest Holly* is still with us. Holly is waiting for her little prince to make his appearance. He is now officially “late” after weeks on bed rest to keep him in.

I am sure that you can all imagine Holly’s dilemma. While on the one hand, she’s thrilled that her little man is “fully baked”, she now is concerned that something is wrong and that he may not come out at all! Of course, if the days continue to pass and he doesn’t present on his own, Holly will have a c-section. But Holly really wants to try a VBAC and is growing more anxious by  the day. Why is this happening? What could be wrong? Will she get to have her much desired VBAC???

I have been corresponding with Holly back and forth for several days now. She has tried walking, dancing, (obviously she’s off bed rest!!!) herb teas touted to stimulate labor…Nothing has worked. Her little guy is tucked inside snug as a bug in a rug. As time goes on, our correspondences have become less wizened and at this point in the game, all I can offer her is, “Hang in there, it’s going to be okay.”

Really?  Yup. That’s all I’ve got. No witty words of wisdom, no erudite words waxing philosophical. The only thing that any of us can do at this point is wait. So I do my best to sound optimistic and wise, but the sad truth is that I have no clue why this little guy is so bent on staying inside and no more tips on ways to coax him out.

The “Everything is going to be okay” response is right up there with, “Everything will work out just as it should” quote my mother used to say to me at times. I don’t know about you, but these phrases, these hackneyed cliches, send me into orbit everytime I hear them!  And while my rational mind may be saying, “Yes, everything will be okay,” in my heart, I am terrified that thing that I so desire won’t come. In my heart of hearts I worry that the absolute worse possible outcome will happen and I’ll be devastated. And if that happened, how could I embrace it and accept it as “The best outcome for the situation?”  I have no answers for these questions either, but I do know that we humans have a remarkable capacity to persevere. We usually falter when we can’t see where we are going and can’t determine the outcome. If we can make it through the uncertain times, we’re usually okay. So if friends, family and loved ones can simply show up, be present and just help us “ride it out”, they are truly helping more than they know.

Somewhere along the lines we humans got the message that we are supposed to make things better. We are supposed to soothe the ills, and make the rough spots smooth. Well, sometimes I can do that and sometimes I can’t. So in an effort to be genuine and to truly be of service, when I have resources to share, tips and recommendations that may be helpful, I will most certainly share what I know. But when I don’t have anything useful to contribute, I’m simply going to say so. It doesn’t mean that I like you less or that I am not taking your situation seriously. It simply means that I really have no way in which to affect your situation, but I am here nonetheless. I can’t predict what is going to happen. All that I can promise is that I will do my best to be here no matter what.

Here’s to Holly and all the other mamas anxiously awaiting their little loves. I’m here if you want to talk, cry, vent, scream or simply sit quietly. Let me know how I can be of service.


*Not Mama’s real name!!

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