Mamas on Bedrest: What Do You Mean, I Manifested This??

September 4th, 2013

I love Facebook.

Its a great way to connect and keep up with friends and family near and far. But sometimes there is stuff posted that makes me say, “What the F—?”

Case in point. I was reading a friend’s post and she was saying how she had had this interaction with another woman who was nasty to her and she didn’t understand why. Another friend replied with, “You drew her to you. You draw in what you yourself need to face within yourself. What is it that you need to learn?”

Really??

When I read such statements, I always bring them back to Mamas on Bedrest. So, if you are a Mama on Bedrest, you drew this situation in, and somehow made it manifest in your life? You wanted to be on bed rest? In the case of our fellow mama Amber, she drew in having pre-eclampsia so severe that she and her baby almost perished? Really???

I want to make one thing abundantly clear-AGAIN! Most (if not all) mamas DON’T CAUSE THEIR BED REST PRESCRIPTIONS! Mamas, you’ve done nothing wrong and BEING ON BED REST IS NOT YOUR FAULT! (of course there are mamas who have engaged in behaviors that are not in their best interests or the best interests of their babies, but the mamas I’ve encountered here do not fall in that category!)

That being said, I do believe in a higher power, God if you will. I do believe that there are forces at work that we can neither see nor readily perceive that are acting in/on the world. I don’t believe that we can necessarily control these forces (i.e. how can anyone control an earthquake, a tsunami, pre-term labor or other calamity?). But we can control how we respond to them and how we behave going forward once we are aware of certain occurrences.

In response to a question posed at a live presentation, Marianne Williamson gave what I think is an excellent response to those things seemingly out of control. The person in the audience asked, “If children are starving, did they somehow manifest their situation?”

Here is a paraphrase Ms. Williamson’s response,

It is a perversion on our part to somehow insinuate that poor children somehow caused their poverty and hunger. These children are the innocent victims of wars, government struggles and famines. However, there are enough resources on this planet such that every child should have food and shelter. The fact there are large numbers of poor, starving children is not so much an indication of the mind/heart of the children, but those of us who are aware of the problem and how we respond.

So how are you going to respond, Mamas?

I don’t believe that we create each and every situation that happens in our lives, most especially a complicated pregnancy requiring bed rest. But we can control how we respond to the situation. Are you going to get all wound up and make the situation worse? Or are you going to use the situation to learn to ask for help? Are you going to use the time to take exquisite care of yourselves and your babies or try and push yourself in unhealthy ways? The situation takes on a decidedly different meaning when we turn away from, “This has happened and there is nothing that I can do to change it” to “This has happened, now how am I going to work with it and use it to my advantage?”

Blame and self denegration is rarely if ever helpful. Even if you have done something wrong; whether it be during your pregnancy or in an interaction with another person, beating yourself up about the situation is not helpful. Rather, acknowledge what has happened, then do what you can to resolve the situation in the most positive way possible.

 

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