Mamas on Bedrest: You Are Perfect!

March 9th, 2015

My daughter 1 day old in NICU.

I never get tired of looking at babies.

Babies of all sorts are the most miraculous creatures to me, but of course, my favorites are human babies. Whenever I look at a newborn, look at the tiny fingers and toes all perfectly formed, the fingernails, eyelashes, tiny little nostrils…all I see is perfection. It never ceases to amaze me that this tiny little being has all that it needs to inhabit this earth for the next several decades, and in the case of little girl babies, to create other human beings!

Mamas, let’s not forget that we all started out as “little girl babies” and as such, we too have everything that we need to create a little life within us and to bring that life forth. It breaks my heart when I hear Mamas on Bedrest, time and time again, disparage their bodies. I know that having a pregnancy complication is scary. I know all too well how disappointing it is to have all your pregnancy plans, hopes and dreams shattered when the Bedrest prescription is issued. Yet, when I witness women’s discontent and disappointment with statements such as,

“My body is broken”

“My Body has let me (and my husband, baby and family) down.”

“I feel like such a failure”

“I’m less than” or “Not as much of a woman as other women I know”

I’m deeply saddened. Mamas, bed rest or not, you are perfect!

My kids just days after the birth of my son.

My kids just days after the birth of my son.

Mamas, It’s time we reclaim our “divine feminine”. Our culture would like us to believe that our value is in our appearance, in establishing perfect careers, creating perfect families and bringing forth our children via transcendent, medication and complication fee vaginal births. While I am sure that we all strive to look and be our best, and we’d all love to have uncomplicated, spontaneous vaginal births, sometimes life happens. Sometimes life is just downright messy. But does that make it any less good? And because we are not exactly like everyone else, does that really make us less than?? Heck, it takes a lot of strength and fortitude to endure week after week of bed rest and I know plenty of women who would cave. You are stronger than you realize. Remember that! Besides, would you disparage and chastise a diabetic for being diabetic, for not being able to metabolize and utilize sugars?? Do you feel that a diabetic is somehow broken, less than? What about people with heart disease? Autoimmune diseases? Each and everyone of us is on a journey and comparing one person’s journey to another typically results in disappointment and feelings of inadequacy. I say, just don’t do it!

Mamas, I want to invite you to take a deep breath, let it out, and take this in: There is nothing wrong with you. That’s right, I’m saying it, “THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, YOU ARE PERFECT!!!” Your body has a different way of reacting to THIS PREGNANCY. It needs some assistance and for now, the treatments that your obstetrician is providing, including bed rest is that assistance. You may never have pregnancy complications ever again or you may be prescribed bed rest with each of your pregnancies. That is your “normal”. That is your perfection! No it isn’t like the vast majority. But why not be an original?? No it isn’t fun. But that doesn’t make you wrong, or broken or somehow less than other women. You are you, perfect in every way!!

The elder women in my family always say, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, and that the reason you have trials is so that you can overcome and bless someone else”. So mamas, as you are on bed rest, preparing for your beautiful bundle of joy, consider reframing this experience. Instead of disparaging yourself and seeing all the negatives, ask yourself, “How can I use this experience in later life for good?” Believe me, it’s a game changer. Of that I know firsthand.

So what did you come up with? What positives could come from this experience? Share those in the comments section below. Just can’t get there? Still feeling overwhelmed? Lost? Let’s talk about it in a free 3o minute Bedrest Breakthrough session! Simply e-mail and we’ll get you scheduled

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